Baking. It's not like cooking on a stove. You have to add all the ingredients and let it bake BEFORE you get to find out if you made it right. If you forget even just one thing...well...have you ever done that?
It's not like cooking something on the stove. You can test it as you go. You can season it if it doesn't taste right. Add a little of this and a little of that.
I feel like raising kids is more like baking. Except...they didn't come with a recipe... You roughly know you are making something...say a cake. You add the basic stuff...flour, sugar and all that. But what if you forget to add baking powder? Or what if you add too much? Or not enough? See what I'm getting at? You aren't gonna know if it is gonna turn out right until you BAKE it.
Sometimes I feel like we are taking mini test runs. Like today. I feel like I'm letting them go. A little bit each day. When I do that I hope and pray I'm putting the right stuff in there...the stuff they need to make it through the day...through life. Ava had a HUGE report due today. I dropped her off at school on the sidewalk, cause we were running a little late, and watched her walk in with this big poster board and watching her growing up in front of me with each step she took away from me.
I gave her the poster and she took it and then saw one of her classmates walking in with something similar. She took off barely saying goodbye. I could have taken offense. After all I practically did the whole thing for her. I mean really. What on earth does the school expect from 4th grade? The funny thing was...one of the pieces came off in her desperation to catch up. She stopped and picked it up. I hadn't stopped watching her. I hadn't gotten back in the car. I was waiting for her to get all the way in to school. To make sure she was ok. To no one but me did she look to when she needed help. She looked back. I gave her a thumbs up and said just put it back in when you get in! She smiled and went running on in to school.
I've been praying all morning that she will do well with her presentation. That she won't be nervous and that she will do well. But again. It's like baking. You won't know until you put everything in the pan, mix it well, and put it in the oven to bake for awhile. Sometimes even then its not enough. I've just got to let go and hope that I did what I could and trust that God will take care of everything. It's scary to put the cake in the oven...what if I forgot something? At that point it is out of my hands. Letting go is soooooo hard! BUT...watching the emerging beautiful cake...it's SOOOOO WORTH IT!